Guide Us to Thy Perfect Light

Adoration of the Magi Triptych by Jerome Bosch, Prado Museum

Epiphany.

We use the word to describe a sudden idea, an "aha" moment, a sudden convergence of thought and feeling into a meaningful connection, an illumination of what has been there, but hidden.

Epiphany is the celebration of the Light bursting into the darkness.

Epiphany is always on January 6th, because it follows the 12 Days of Christmas that begin on December 25th. On this day we remember the journey of the kings from the east. They saw an unusual star in the heavens which communicated to them that the King of the Jews had been born. They began a long journey, bearing gifts for the new King. They made a journey of faith to worship. This was not their family of faith, but they were being drawn in by the Star of Light. These kings usher in a new era in history. They are the first Gentiles to worship Jesus, to journey toward him, to bring Him their gifts. They follow a bright star that leads them to the Lord.

The Dürer woodcut, a lifetime impression signed with his monogram and dated 1511, depicts the adoration of the Magi.

These last few months have had their long journeys through dark nights. I have looked up into the dark sky, searching for the star that will keep me moving in the right direction. I did not think about packing any gifts for the trip. What could I give the Lord after an exhausting journey? The only gift I can possibly imagine giving is simply a yielded heart. It sounds quaint and trite and shallow, perhaps, but its true. There is absolutely nothing I could plan to pack or "put on". I came to the end of my own stamina a long time ago.

I have walked a journey of bare-bones humanity. I get up, I do what is before me. I listen for the Lord. My only gift is to simply say, "Yes Lord." My gift is to obey and trust. That is all that is possible. I see no other road. It has not been pretty. Often what the Lord says is, "Let that go." "Lack of love is making this harder for you." "Just do it." My heart has been exposed to the raw, ugly core. And still I hear, "Come to Me. Sit. Give me your burdens. I am here."

There has been no way to plan or prepare. I get up each day trusting that the next step will unfold and that the energy, love and wisdom will be there when I need it. I am amazed to say it has. What I have needed has been there. I am getting a sudden flash of Jesus sending out the disciples and saying, "Take nothing with you, no bag, no tunic, etc." This is not the kind of journey you can pack for. You just set off and trust God for provision because there is nothing else possible!

One gift I have received from the Lord during this journey has been this blog. I have felt supported, true. But its more than that for me. Nothing gives me greater joy than to learn something new, or see something in a new light and then tell someone else about it. I have enjoyed writing about this journey for my own "processing", but my heart leaps with joy when I talk with those of you who say they have been blessed by reading. I just can't believe it! That is the Lord for you. One person suffers and another is blessed through it. That is redemption. Beauty for ashes.

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows. If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort.

II Cor 1: 3-7

I have saved this story for Epiphany because it is an example of the Light of Christ bursting into darkness. I received an email from my friend Val back in December. She told me that she had used our story as the capstone of her class, Introduction to Religion. I will let her tell you herself:

Hi Margie. I'm teaching three sections of Introduction to Religion at College of Du Page (about 90 students in all). We are almost to the end of a 16 week semester. It is a general class on religion and how it is studied, but I have total freedom to teach the class any way I want to. I've never been so happy!

Today was my last lecture, and thanks to your blog and the nifty MP3 file I had the perfect way to end the semester. We've just finished three units that were a perfect lead up to presenting your story; for the last four weeks we've been studying religious experience, meaning & suffering, and virtue ethics. Today we looked at your photos, several of the blog entries, and listened to most of the talk. Then we had a class discussion about how you and John have demonstrated each of the virtues through the way you have suffered. At the end of class I asked people to make a list of the three virtues that they thought your testimony illustrated most powerfully.

Prudence/wisdom
Justice
Temperance
Fortitude/courage
Faith
Hope
Love

Most of the students are nominal Christians, plus a few Muslims, Buddhists, Atheists and generally mixed up, sincere seekers after truth. They were TOTALLY into the two weeks we spent on the virtues, and ABSOLUTELY CAPTIVATED by your story. No one dozed off, that's for sure! Now they all want to know what happens, so we will check back in to your blog next week. I'd also like to use it next semester as I'm teaching three more sections of the same class. I could not have devised a better way to end the semester as you and John are living out the realities I've been trying to impart. For example, before we studied the virtues we studied Vicktor Frankl's Man's Search for Meaning. He says there are four anchors that enable us to find meaning in suffering: making a difference for good, living for those who need us, the contemplation of beauty/truth/goodness, and dying with dignity. You and John would make high marks on the "meaning scale" too!

___, my most committed and thoughtful atheist, wrote in a paper that he'd never met a Christian who wasn't just as terrified of death as everyone else. It seemed to him that if Christians really believed what they said about eternal life that it should make a difference in how they died. You've given him a few things to think about.

Love,
Val

Alleluia. Alleluia. Alleluia.

This journey is not for us to rack up scores for "virtue." We came to the end of our own strength long ago. Going through the desert is tough. Writing a blog about the experience is helpful. All I have to offer is my sometimes faltering willingness to say, "Yes." But nothing could be a greater gift to me than to know that there are people out there who are hearing about the living Jesus through my life. People who otherwise would be totally in the "dark".

This is my testimony. The Lord has carried me through. He is here.

A LIGHT shines in the darkness.