Update

I don't have a lot to say, but wanted to jot the latest. Yesterday we had a regularly-scheduled, weekly lab visit. John's Calcium was 14.3. That is higher than it was last week. John was hospitalized back in ?October? when his Calcium reached 15.9. Dr. Hantel said that was off the charts and that most people are not conscious or sitting up and talking to him at that level.

So, yesterday, John had a drug treatment and IV fluids. They wanted to see him for labs again today and his calcium was 13.8. They kept him to give fluids again. Now they want to see him tomorrow. The doctor may try to flush the calcium with more fluids or give some kind of a drug.

Because of Charlotte's swimming lessons, I did not go to the hospital today. John's Dad took him. After the swimming lesson, I decided to take the kids to Edwards to see John's treatment. I have been praying about including them, especially Charlotte, in some way. It seems of growing importance that she have some frame of reference for what it means that we are going to the "doctor" all the time. It was a short visit, but the kids loved it. Of course the nurses all thought they were wonderful and gave them juice and graham crackers. We played Chutes and Ladders (which they have on the unit) and took a little tour. Charlotte said to John, "I am worried about this tube going into your arm. It worries me that it hurts you." John explained these things to Charlotte and told her he wasn't worried about the medicine at all, and that it didn't really even hurt.

Now she has something to imagine when we say we are going to the doctor. I hope the experience will give her a frame of reference from which to ask questions as they come up.

Something surprising happened today. John was told after the lab work that he would need to stay for fluids. When John hears this, his first response is not one of gratitude toward the doctors and nurses for their helpful interventions. He eventually comes around, but his first response is usually frustration at the realization of more time at the hospital and less time for ... He said something like, "I guess they are trying to help me and I need to receive what is necessary." One of the nurses we have seen there for months, took both of John's hands in hers. She said, "Lets pray. Dear Lord, we pray that whatever John's body needs is what he will receive here today. Amen." John looked up in shock and joy. He said, "Do you believe that?" "Yes," she said. "Then you should do that with as many people as you possible can here." We had no idea she was a woman of faith and just knowing that lifts my heart somehow.

The last time I wrote, I was weeping and wailing over my losses. Right now I am having trouble feeling anything at all. My heart feels like it is racing all the time and I want to grab John and hold onto him for dear life.