It is difficult to get to the computer these days. I think of writing an update throughout the day, but something usually demands my attention. I know that many of you are faithfully following our journey and I want to keep you informed as much as I can. Now that it is 11:30 pm, the kids are down, the 10pm medication cycle is complete, I can sit here for a moment. But I really should sleep, that part gets left out quite a bit, too!
Over the weekend John's health took a sharp decline. We were able to get him to church using a wheelchair. Going to church was not an option. All he wanted to do was to be in the presence of the Lord and worship.
When I went in to give John his 10pm medication, he was just waking up. He said something like, "I am having so many visions of the Lord. I am too tired to tell you about them now. The beauty of the Lord is amazing. Things that weigh people down are a distraction from the beauty of the Lord."
Just before he fell asleep tonight, he was telling me about Mendelsson's opera Elijah. We got out the lobretto and he read portions of it to me. He remembers using that text to learn how to type in the 10th grade. (I think my typing curriculum was something like, "See Spot Run.")
We will be at the hospital most of the day tomorrow receiving outpatient treatment. I imagine that will mean fluids, meds for high calcium and a blood transfusion.
Thank you for your love and support.
Tonight THREE dinners were delivered to our home. Amazing.
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7 comments:
Margie and John,
The Lord brought this scripture to light yesterday. I have been inserting John's name, reading these words aloud on your behalf:
Psalm 63
Oh God, you are John's God, earnestly he seeks you; his soul thirsts for you, his body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water.
John has seen you in the sanctuary and beheld your power and your glory.
Because your love is better than life, John's lips will glorify you.
He will praise you as long as he lives, and in your name he will lift up his hands.
John's soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods; with singing lips his mouth will praise you.
On his bed John remembers you; he thinks of you through the watches of the night.
Because you are John's help, he sings in the shadow of your wings.
His soul clings to you; your right hand upholds him.
They who seek his life will be destroyed; they will go down to the depths of the earth.
They will be given over to the sword and become food for jackals.
But John will rejoice in God; all who swear by God's name will praise Him, while the mouths of liars will be silenced.
Praise be to the Lord,
Love,
Hez
Margie,
I was amazed to see your reference to Mendelssohn's Elijah since I have been praying/singing that for John for awhile now whenever I think of him: "He watching over Israel slumbers not nor sleeps...whenst thou walking in grief languish, he will quicken thee!" (this is from my memory, I think I got it right!) That melody has been in my head over and over again as I pray for John and I hope that you have a recording of that particular movement that could minister to John.
May you be strengthened as you walk in grief, knowing that He slumbers not nor sleeps! What a beautiful picture!
Peace,
Sarah Hoskins
Thank you for this. God bless you both today.
Dear Margie,
for those of us who'd like to visit you and John, how do you advise? We are sensitive to your need for privacy and quiet.
Thanks.
Dearest Margie,
When you greeted me at the door last night, as I dropped off Charlotte, I was struck by the beauty of your face. Honestly, I expected you to be bedraggled after the exhausting day and sleepless nights that you’ve been having. Instead your countenance radiated with a beauty that could only be matched by the shiny, ebullient, rosy pink-cheeked loveliness of your wedding day! In the moment, I thought to myself, The Lord is here. I can see his splendor and brightness and prettiness on the face of my friend! He is here in the topaz blue-green glint of her eyes . . . the shine of her smile . . . in her blush-dappled cheeks.
It didn’t surprise me one iota when – this morning – I read your blog entry, titled The Beauty of the Lord! John’s words to you last night (which you shared in the entry) seemed so apt and true, "I am having so many visions of the Lord. I am too tired to tell you about them now. The beauty of the Lord is amazing. Things that weigh people down are a distraction from the beauty of the Lord." Thanks be to God for Perfect Beauty and the mysterious ways it manifests itself in John, you and all of God’s brood.
As I continued to read your blog, Margie, I imagined John’s longing for an angelic visitation answered. Oodles of angles stood in his room, shoulder to shoulder with folded wings, as the Lord of Beauty entered revealing Divine Gorgeousness.
Loving you all,
Sal
Margie,
I am so humbled by all you are enduring and by your perseverance. I, like so many other, am PRAYING IN FAITH, BELIEVING for John's healing. It is, truly, a walk of faith that must be blind to the evidence otherwise.
You do not need to post this. I just wanted to comfort you regarding your anxiety concerning your children. When my father was in the final 6 months of his life, I was back and forth between Austin and Ft. Worth constantly (a 3 hr. trip). When I was with Dad, I was concerned about leaving John and the boys in Ft. Worth; when I was home, I was anguished to be with Dad and helping care for him.
I thought, "okay, just cut me in half like Solomon was going to do to that baby -- and let me be both places at once!"
My dear Margie. I will pray that the Lord grants you His PEACE if and when you have to leave your children for hours or days at a time. Undoubtedly, they are surrounded with love and good care, wherever they are, so that is not the issue. Let me share with you what happened with me one time.
We were living in Costa Rica with David at 3 yrs. old and Travis at 6mos. old. John and I had lived in NYC before moving there, and he had the opportunity to return there on business for one week, and I was invited to accompany him. We had not been back since our leaving, nor had we had time away together, alone, since then (I arrived in C.R. with David at 6 wks. of age).
I was in a weekly morning's Bible study group (typically, 3 hrs. of study, prayer, and then continuing to visit as everyone took out her handwork (stitchery) to work on). I was by far the youngest in the group; these were all my "moms" and became my mentors. I was very torn about leaving Travis for a week, esp. as I was nursing. These were all women of strong faith, in ministry; several wives of L.A.M. professors who had lived multiple places overseas. To a person, each one encouraged me to go to New York with John. I was stunned! One woman I still love dearly said, "They (the children) will never remember it, and you will never forget it."
This proved to be true. It was heck trying to pump my breasts for a week, then get Travis to resume breastfeeding! but apart from that, of course they have no recollection of that time, while John and I have never forgotten that special week together.
I say this to tell you that you will never forget or regret remaining by John's side, as you are uniquely his greatest earthly comfort and aide. I firmly believe that God will have his angels and your friends and His Spirit as a divine covering of protection and provision and support and comfort for your children ... that He will provide these, in your physical absence. Do not allow your heart to be anxious about this.
They are secure in the love they know that you and John have for them, and will one day be even more secure in understanding the love that you and John have for each other.
Of course they will prefer to have YOU with them, to anyone else !!! but as to whether they will actually suffer from your not physically being with them for some hours and some days, they will not suffer perhaps as much as John would certainly suffer your absence.
Margie, I do not know if John is listening to the CD of the healing Scriptures being read in both English and Hebrew -- but I hope that in quiet moments, perhaps as he is going off to sleep, they can play over him. I so firmly believe in the power of the spoken Word, and that even if he is dozing, his body can be responding to these words being spoken over it.
I hope I have not tired you, writing so much. It is my joy and my privilege to pray for you and John. I hope he is able to tell you much of what he is seeing and learning, so you can continue to transmit this. It is POWERFUL and TRUE ... everything that people are praying for you and sharing with you, and what John is more and more clearly understanding and perceiving. I know that he is seeing with "eyes wide open" spiritually -- what an incredible experience and blessing.
much love to you,
Christy Fonvielle
Margie, thank you for sharing this. This has continued to come to my mind often today (Tuesday) as I've been praying fervently for John's healing and for God to have mercy on you all. What really struck me in what you shared is the mercy God is showing John by giving him these incredible visions of His Beauty to help carry him through his pain and suffering. How good and kind and merciful for God to reveal himself to John in his time of such great need.
I'll continue to pray for even greater mercy in God allowing John to live and continue to be a devoted husband to you and a loving father to Charlotte and Josiah. But it comforts me to know that God is holding John extra close right now and blessing him beyond my comprehension by revealing glimpses of His own Beauty - amazing! Thank You, Lord, for Your great love and mercy!
~Bonita Smith
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