Photo by David Wittig http://www.davidwittig.com/
Today would have been our 8th Anniversary.
Our dear friends Will and Lisa put this beautiful cross in our yard this afternoon.
Tomorrow evening a few friends that were part of our wedding are gathering to watch a bit of the video and be together. My burden of grief is eased by those who are willing to carry it with me. Thank you, friends.
I spent the entire afternoon trying to figure out how to upload music from our wedding to the blog. We had an audio CD made of the wedding. In truth it was a concert in which we were married! I am still working on this and hope to include some music in the next week or so.
Looking back at our wedding day is bittersweet. I am cut to the heart to be separated by death. I have lost my closest friend and family member. John's absence presses in on me everyday. And yet, I also think of that day with complete joy. John led the Communion worship during the wedding. He was so filled with excitement, nothing could have prevented him from doing so. His delight flooded through him and out onto the piano.
Photo by David Wittig http://www.davidwittig.com/I had longed to be married for many years. When I got the chance to plan a wedding, I jumped on it like a chicken on a June Bug (nod to my southern family). We had bell ringing, little girls dancing, train bearers, a children's choir, a classical music extravaganza and transcendent worship. We invited the entire church and virtually the entire college campus. On our honeymoon John said, "I think we will always look back on our wedding and exclaim, 'SPECTACULAR!'"
Photo by David Wittig http://www.davidwittig.com/
You glue in a photo and tell a few of the highlights of your year.
I am perplexed about how to conclude that book today. Will I put a picture of just me and the kids? Will I put a picture of John and me together the night he died? Will it be a picture from his illness? I'm not sure.
When I pulled out the book today a copy of Anniversary of a Marriage fell out. It reminded me that on our anniversary each year we used to pray this together. I will post it in hopes that others of you traversing the journey of marriage will be blessed by it.
This was written to be part of a Eucharistic worship service, so we just adapted the language as needed. The witnesses can be your children or dinner guests… or the great cloud thereof.
Anniversary of a Marriage
O gracious and everliving God, you have so consecrated the covenant of marriage that in it is represented the spiritual unity between Christ and his Church: Send your blessing upon N. and N., who come to renew their promises to each other, and grant them your grace, that they may so love, honor, and cherish each other in faithfulness and patience, in wisdom and true godliness, that their lives together may be a witness to your love and forgiveness, and that their home may be a haven of blessing and peace; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and forever. Amen.
Friends in Christ, we are gathered together with N. and N., who have come today to give thanks to God for his blessing upon their marriage, and to reaffirm their marriage covenant.
Celebrant asks the man
N., do you here, in the presence of God and of this congregation, renew the promises you made when you bound yourself to N. in holy matrimony?
The Man answers
I do.
The Celebrant then asks the woman
N., do you here, in the presence of God and of this congregation, renew the promises you made when you bound yourself to N. in holy matrimony?
The woman answers
I do.
The Husband and Wife, kneeling or standing, say together
We thank you, most gracious God, for consecrating our marriage in Christ’s Name and presence. Lead us further in companionship with each other and with you. Give us grace to live together in love and fidelity, with care for one another. Strengthen us all our days, and bring us to the holy table where, with those we love, we will feast for ever in our heavenly home; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
The Celebrant then blesses them, saying
May God the Father, who at creation ordained that man and woman become one flesh, keep you one. Amen.
May God the Son, who adorned this manner of life by his first miracle, at the wedding in Cana of Galilee, be present with you always. Amen.
May God the Holy Spirit, who has given you the will to persevere in your love and in your covenant with each other, strengthen your bond. Amen.
And may God the Holy Trinity, the source of all unity, bless you this day and forever. Amen.
Friends in Christ, we are gathered together with N. and N., who have come today to give thanks to God for his blessing upon their marriage, and to reaffirm their marriage covenant.
Celebrant asks the man
N., do you here, in the presence of God and of this congregation, renew the promises you made when you bound yourself to N. in holy matrimony?
The Man answers
I do.
The Celebrant then asks the woman
N., do you here, in the presence of God and of this congregation, renew the promises you made when you bound yourself to N. in holy matrimony?
The woman answers
I do.
The Husband and Wife, kneeling or standing, say together
We thank you, most gracious God, for consecrating our marriage in Christ’s Name and presence. Lead us further in companionship with each other and with you. Give us grace to live together in love and fidelity, with care for one another. Strengthen us all our days, and bring us to the holy table where, with those we love, we will feast for ever in our heavenly home; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
The Celebrant then blesses them, saying
May God the Father, who at creation ordained that man and woman become one flesh, keep you one. Amen.
May God the Son, who adorned this manner of life by his first miracle, at the wedding in Cana of Galilee, be present with you always. Amen.
May God the Holy Spirit, who has given you the will to persevere in your love and in your covenant with each other, strengthen your bond. Amen.
And may God the Holy Trinity, the source of all unity, bless you this day and forever. Amen.
I think this form of prayer is from the Book of Occasional Services, but I’m not sure.
It’s from pp 164-165, but the photocopy does not include the title.
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5 comments:
Dear Margie,
I t looks like the most wonderful occasion for rejoicing! What a handsome couple you made and how beautiful still both of you are in your children.
I think it was Joy Lewis who said the "sad now is part of the happy then' ( or visa versa)I am praying for you very often that the grief will iron our the unfinished places in your loss. You have lost more than most ever have and it is a terrible thing. Together with many I hold you up to the Lord for strength and hope. This isn't the end. It just feels like it. I love it when Jesus, usually so without
alot of elaboration speaks of the after life to the Sadducees, "about the resurrection
from the dead.. you are VERY MUCH
mistaken.."
John isn't dead. Truly he isn't .
I know you know this but I pray that you can feel this too.
Much love in Him,
Kathy Russell
Duder
My heart breaks as I read your blog today...how I had hoped that you and John would grow old together. I am so sorry. Thanks be to God that He sustained you to be present to the time you did have together, to live unto God and faithful to your vows. We love you.
Margie--
What a privilege and a blessing it was to be in attendance at your wedding!
I will always treasure the memories of us all on that day--my children in the children's choir, my daughter dancing in your wake with her little friends (all teenagers now!), my husband doing something liturgical and priestly, no doubt.... (Obviously I was more concerned about my kids performing and behaving well!)
It was one of the most wonderful celebrations I have ever been part of, and it is a joy to remember it even now, on this difficult anniversary. I wish John could be here to recall that day with us--I'd love to hear him laugh and speak joyfully of it, as he often did, once again. So glad you posted about it.
Much love--
Jeanne
Margie -- I wasn't there, but just reading about it is wonderful. And your photos are stunning. You and John were so beautiful.
How blessed you were to have John for 8 years, I find myself thinking.
Your courage and strength shine more than you probably know.
And I had to smile at the "chicken on a June bug" comment (with a nod to your Southern family).
It's actually like a "duck on a june bug" (said the girl who grew up in Tennessee).
But I got your drift!
Love you.
From Seattle this quiet morning,
Debbie
What a beautiful anniversary prayer. Jim and I were married 3 years ago on Oct 16. We are going to start including this on our anniversary and each year thank God for you and for John. Thank you for being so vulnerable and for sharing this with us.
Love, Kate Zwiefelhofer
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