The Lord must have something for me today.

John awakened this morning and told his sister, "Well, I woke up again. The Lord must have something for me today."

Today was a difficult day and yet as I head to bed my heart is still. Its actually a miracle. I've been revved up all day and to actually feel still is wonderful. Thank You, Lord.

Charlotte went to play with her cousins for the day.
My friend Charis took Josiah out to watch trains.
John's friend Dan took him to the treatment center.

I was alone.

No one needed me.

I was supposed to be working on legal documents. (Have I mentioned how many hours of paperwork are involved in having a chronic illness? As if the illness were not enough, the paperwork could put you right over the edge.)

During my morning "retreat" I wrote an email to a doctor. I gave him a brief update of John's health and medications, etc. As I re-read the email I began to sob. Reading about John's "case" was heart-wrenching. I guess I kind of get used to the way things are and then when I read it written out, its jarring.

His legs are enormously swollen.
Today his face is swollen.
His thoughts are somewhat lucid, but getting his thoughts out is very difficult.
He has numerous visible bone lesions and battles lots of pain.
He is on a daily antibiotic to fight pneumonia.
He tries to read and write. He is writing is barely legible, but relatively coherent.

During the night John had a dream that upset him. He said it was in the style of Edgar Allen Poe with someone shouting at him, "No!" as if he should not be living. John is in a spiritual battle. The Enemy of John's soul takes every advantage of his vulnerability and fears. He accuses John and tries to stir his fear. John awakened me in the night and we prayed for the presence of Jesus to fill our room. John rebuked in the Name of Jesus any attempt of the Enemy to rob his peace.

Several times today John said, "I know I must listen to the Lord, no other voice." He is earnestly seeking the Lord. I am comforted by the fact that even if I don't always understand what he is saying, the Lord does. They are in communion together.

Please continue to pray for the healing of John's bones. The most imminently life-threatening problem is a high level of Calcium in his blood. This is from bone degeneration. Lots of Calcium in the blood causes fatigue, confusion, kidney damage and nausea.

And so we come to the end of another day. I wonder what it was the Lord had for John today?
Was it the book he read to Charlotte?
Was it time with a friend?
Was it the chance for me to hear him say, "I just love being here with you." (Its good to know John likes "being here with me" since he was talking about my standing in the doorway of the bathroom while he was... ya know... "occupied." This is a very common arrangement for conversation for us. Glad its so delightful for him!)

I will never know what the Lord had in mind for John's life today, but I was glad that it intersected with mine.

Bless those whose lives are closely linked with ours... Book of Common Prayer

Photo of Daddy taken by Charlotte, 5 years old.